This is a guest post from Carri Budd. You can find @teambudd1 on Twitter.
A man who I respect and enjoy on Twitter tagged me and requested that I
post answers to these questions, and add one of my own. I am not shy,
and I enjoy writing, so here goes...
1. What are your current obsessions?
Obsession(s) plural? Well, the first obsession would have to be
Twitter. A friend told me about Twitter just a few short months ago. I
signed on at the end of March, '09. My first impression was negative.
"Why would I want to sit here and read about people who are posting
about themselves? Aren't there enough self-centered people around?" I
had a very negative impression, and wasn't sure I even wanted to
"tweet." But, the friend who had told me about it seemed genuinely
enthusiastic, and this was someone whose opinion I valued, so I
persevered. What I discovered was this: there are a lot of interesting,
intelligent, funny, fun, caring people out in the "twitterverse" who are
HAPPY, perhaps even EAGER to connect with each other, including
connecting with me. I am obsessed with Twitter because I can
communicate with people from ALL OVER THE WORLD in real time. I have
made friends on Twitter that I would gladly welcome into my home. These
are people who a few months ago, I didn't know existed, and now we are
friends. They talk about world politics, national politics, they have
something to say about their values and beliefs, their homes, families,
pets, lovers, friends, preoccupations, wishes, hopes, dreams,
disappointments, achievements, challenges. Basically, the people who I
follow most closely on Twitter are REAL and tweet about the real things
in their lives. They tweet in a way that is both interesting,
compelling, and heart-touching (and often funny). I love people, and I
always have. What I do for a living has always been about connection and
caring about people. So, Twitter is a natural fit for me, a way for me
to connect to more people, more of the time. It has become an obsession
because I look forward to connecting with new friends there, and
reconnecting with the friends I have made. Maybe that sounds corny, but
I am a corny kind of woman, and that is what Twitter is for me. It's a
fun, interesting, meaningful obsession.
Other obsessions...I am slightly obsessed with fitness. Not officially,
completely obsessed with fitness. I am competitive by nature, and I am
currently having a bit of a competition with myself to see how fit I can
get...kind of like a dare. I set goals and then push to achieve them. I
have set backs, like this week when an old whiplash injury got
re-triggered and my neck and upper back were in muscle spasm. It is part
of the fun of the dare...not letting temporary set backs permanently
side-line me. I was never athletic as a kid. I was awkward and clumsy,
the girl no one wanted on their kickball team at recess. So I didn't
really enjoy physical activities when I was younger. In my 20's and 30's
I worked out, but it was more a self-imposed torture based on fear of
becoming old and out of shape. Now I am old(er) and life events have led
me to be somewhat out of shape. Now, though, I have an attitude of love
and appreciation for my body that I didn't have when I was younger. The
competition is with no one but myself, and as I see my body change,
improve, get stronger, and respond through training and repetition, my
respect for my muscles and bones and joints and organs grows. I have
some very real physical limitations based on old injuries. An example is
that I am limited to only bicycling or swimming for aerobic activities,
because of joint problems in both knees and both ankles. When my
orthopedic Doctor told me, "No more weight bearing cardiac exercise" my
first inclination was to feel sorry for myself and give in to being
sedentary and accepting the health risks associated with that. But, I
thought about it, and realized this: I have always enjoyed bicycling and
swimming. Why let the fact that I am limited to two activities that I
enjoy dictate failure? Why not re-write this story with a successful
outcome? So, I embarked on a fitness program and began modifying my diet
and increasing my exercise. I've gone from tiring easily after a short bike ride, to riding up to 20 or so miles at least once a week. I am working toward completing a 50-55 mile bike ride by the end of July. It is a slight obsession,because if for some reason I am unable to achieve this goal, I will simply congratulate myself for the progress I have made, and continue setting goals.
2. What item from your wardrobe do you wear most?
I have a pair of leopard print sling-back flats that are both sexy
and comfortable, and I wear them every chance I get. I can't wear them
when I'm at work, so I wear them anywhere and everywhere and no where
when I'm not at work. I have gotten compliments and grins from the most
unexpected male acquaintances, and of course, all my women friends love
them. You DO know that women dress more for other women than for men?
Well, if we were dressing for men, we would all be in French maid's
outfits or scanty vixenish sex-kitten outfits all the time. Back to my
leopard print sling-back flats, when I wear them, both men and women
compliment me and smile. I like them so much, that I went back to the
store and bought two more pair, so that when the first pair wears out I
will still have them. (Women do things like this when they find
something that really works for them.) Other than that, I can't say that
I have one wardrobe favorite. I like to dress colorfully, and I like to
wear things that make me feel good. I do have this one turquoise colored
blouse that always attracts attention when I wear it. My eyes are kind
of a turquoise/teal blue, and when I wear this one particular turquoise
blouse, I hear from my male and female friends what beautiful eyes I
have. They don't necessarily comment on the blouse, but the blouse makes
them comment on my eyes. I guess that is what a pretty blouse is
supposed to do, huh?
3. What was the last thing you bought?
I'm not sure if this is technically a "thing" but I bought myself a
massage today. It was an indulgence that I needed with my neck and back
in muscle spasm. The massage therapist was new to me, recommended by a
friend, but obviously not new to massage. She did a marvelous job and
put me back in prime form! A good massage induces a state of altered
consciousness that is both grounding and mind expanding, and that is
exactly what this massage did for me, as well as releasing about a
year's worth of tension. It was the best investment I have made in
myself in months, and I will definately return sooner, rather than
later, to this wonderful miracle worker. Now, as far as a "thing" I
purchased recently...I guess my most favorite recent purchase was my
Blackberry...which was a gift to myself about two months ago. I had a
cell phone that I wasn't happy with, and I upgraded to the Blackberry,
which I now understand why they call a "crackberry." I am addicted to it
and carry it with me everywhere, and DM, text, and tweet from it almost
continuously (hence the addiction, it feeds my obsession). My kids tease
me about it, my friends tease me about it, my boss teases me about it. I
will let them pry it from my cold, dead hands...that the only way they
are getting it, you hear? Solidarity with President Obama on this one!
(Maybe that should have gone up in the obsessions section? LOL)
4. What are you listening to?
I enjoy almost any type of live music. I go out about once a week
and listen to the local talent sing Karaoke. I know that may sound
dreadful, but in the small town where I live, there is definately a wide
variety of real talent. Only occasionally do I find myself wincing
whilst others are attempting to sing, and usually if I do wince it is
because the person is too intoxicated to know they are off key or they
are one of the rare individuals who just doesn't know how bad they are
at singing. But most of the regulars who sing Karaoke locally are quite
talented, frustrated musical types who work at some day job and sing for
free, to my benefit. I hear all kinds of music, from old show tunes,
ballads, big band era tunes (like Sinatra and Perry Como), to country
and rock and roll. I love going to the local Karaoke hang outs because
in this small town where I live, the crowd is a cross section of society
with all ages from 21 to 90 represented, and all different musical
tastes represented, and different musical eras represented. While I
don't sing myself (I don't want to be one of the one's people are
cringing at), I enjoy being in the presence of people who do sing, and
sing quite well. I enjoy the fact that everyone in this small town
Karaoke crowd supports everyone else. There is an unspoken code at small
town Karaoke that you support everyone's attempt, even if they can't
sing or are too drunk to get through the song respectully. An example of
this is once, a mutual friend and I witnessed a regular who literally
was so drunk he was falling asleep with the microphone in his hand mid
song. We could have laughed at him, but we didn't. We held him up, and
my friend finished the song for him, then we gently woke him up and
encouraged him to get a safe ride home. Small town karaoke is a safe,
warm place. It is a musical melting pot, and that is cool to witness and
experience. When I am choosing the music, I like to choose based on my
mood. In my heart I am a blues lover...but I will listen to almost any
style of music. I've recently discovered the talented guitar work
of Mr. David Wilcox, out of Asheville, North Carolina. A friend who I
work with is from Asheville, and a music lover, and introduced me to his
admirable talent. He is a southern gent who plays wicked guitar licks
and his song lyrics are either witty, heart-touching, or both. I am a
James Taylor fan for many, many years. That can be attributed to the
memory of my first serious boyfriend who took me to a park one beautiful
spring day and played guitar and serenaded me with "How Sweet It Is To
Be Loved By You." When I'm feeling silly, I love the B-52's, Love Shack.
Awesome hot silly fun.
5. What is your earliest happy memory? (This is my new question.)
When I was in 1st grade, my Mother used to pick me up at school
about twice a month on the Friday's when she got paid, and take me to
McDonald's for lunch. I grew up in a large family (there were 8 of us
squalling, demanding, clawing for attention), and time alone with my Mom
was at a premium. She would unceremoniously come to my school and pick
me up for lunch. We would sit under the golden arches of McDonald's and
eat our cheeseburgers and fries, and with no words being spoken about
love or connection, I knew that Mom loved me. To this day, sometimes I
find myself craving a lousy McDonald's cheeseburger, and I know when
that craving hits that no other fast food lousy burger will do. What
that McDonald's cheeseburger says to me, as I taste each salty, greasy
bite of good badness, is "Mom loves me." It is a simple, deep, and
unbreakable connection. My Mom died about 8 years ago now. I wish before
she had passed on that I had thought to tell her what those lunch time
trips to McDonald's, alone, with her, meant to me. Those lunches have
gotten me through many bumps along the road. Mom, if you are listening,
thanks for the Mickey D's, and the love.
6. What are you reading?
I am ashamed to admit that since I started Twittering, I have not
been reading. My magazines are piling up and they stare at me with an
attitude of outrageous indignation. I have brand new books that sit on
my bookshelves, untouched since purchase. The last book started to read
was back in March, about the time I started tweeting. It is a small
green paperback, something I ordinarily would digest in a day or two. I
read the first 20 pages and it sits on my bedside stand, neglected and
lonely. The title is "Less...Accomplishing More By Doing Less." Author
is Marc Lesser. Interesting last name, don't you think, given the title
of the book? Anyway, I do enjoy reading comedy, romance novels,
autobiographies, philosophical writings, religious writings (Dali Lama
is one of my favorites), almost anything but war epics. I am a pacifist
at heart, and I don't have the heart to read about folks killing each
other off. I guess what I read lately is tweets and blogs and online
poetry and online short stories. Through Facebook, I reconnected with an
old flame, who is now a published author of poems and short stories. His
name is David Landrum, and if you care to look him up, there are some
well written short stories out there by my old sweetheart.
7. What are four words to describe you?
Intelligent - I didn't realize this about myself until I was in my
mid 30's. I have always been intelligent, I just wasn't self-aware about
it when I was younger. I loved school, always. I loved learning new
things and experimenting with my new knowledge through writing and math
formulas and taking tests and quizzes. This to me, was never anything
but joy. I was the kid who had the light bulb go on in class and
eagerly (dork-like) threw my hand into the air with a sense of
immediacy, eyes pleading to the teacher, "Call on me! Call on me!" Fresh
out of high school, I enlisted in the U.S. Army. The military
administered some kind of aptitude test to me, and based on the results,
offered me the opportunity to attend West Point Military Academy. Being
young and unaware, I did not recognize this as the opportunity of a life
time for a poor girl from lowly beginnings, and I promptly declined.
When I was in my 30's, I went back to college to obtain my Master's
Degree. I was married, and raising two kids.
I sailed through a tough, competitive Master's program with all A's
(well, one "B" because I accidentally overlooked one question on an
essay exam final.) This was the time when I realized, "hey, I'm
intelligent." I was working full time, raising two kids, and
(unfortunately) dealing with the demise of my marriage, and yet I
continued to excell in a Master's level educational program where
younger, less challenged class mates were dropping like flies. Knowing
that I am intelligent is not a free ride ticket, however. The longer I
live, the more I recognize that there are many types of intelligence.
The gift I was given, to be able to assimilate classroom knowledge and
regurgitate it for exam and assignment purposes, is just that, a gift.
It is not indicative of high moral character or a measure of my worth.
It is simply something I came into the world with. I am grateful for the
gift, but I do not hold myself above anyone based on this ability. I
have met people who never graduated from high school, who had challenges
I never faced, who have a different kind of intelligence about them.
Survival skills, ability to work with ones hands, creativity, etc. The
ability to excell in institutions of learning is not the most important,
or the most valuable form of intelligence. It is the only form of
intelligence that allows individuals in this particular society to
accomplish certain types of goals, like being a professional in the
medical or legal field. This is a gift for which I am eternally
grateful, as my life has been easier because of this gift. But, I am not
of the assumption that this gift places me in a position of favor over
people with other gifts. Additionally, intelligent people are capable of
failure of catastrophic proportions. Read the headlines if you think I
am wrong.
Fun - I love a good time. If you can make me laugh, you are my
friend. If I can make you laugh, I will. Life is too short to be
unhappy. Laughter is good for the circulation, the spirit, and the
immune system. Let's have some fun while we are here. I am known for
making the atmosphere at work fun. I want the people I work with to look
forward to coming to work. Drudgery is old school. Happy people are more
productive, anyway. Just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go
down, in the most delightful way. Whistle while you work. Etc, etc....
Caring - I take people into my heart easily. This is, I think,
another gift I have been given. I care about the things that happen to
people, about the way they handle the things that happen to them, about
whether or not they are coping. I try to help people cope, try to help
them build strength where they are weak. I try to help them see new
possibilities that otherwise they might have missed. I like that I care
deeply about the people who I let into my heart. It is one of the things
I like most about who I am, and it is also one of the things that
sometimes hurts me. I know that I wouldn't change this based on avoiding
hurt, though. It is a privilege to care deeply, and feeling hurt is a
part of the privilege.
Sexy - I can't help it. Another gift. It is what it is and I am what
I am. No apologies. Sometimes, though, I wish people would see the other
three things first. I was not self-aware about this when I was younger, either. I saw myself as "the dorky girl", not "the hot girl". Now I know
that I am both.
8. What are your guilty pleasures?
Other than my "crackberry" and Twitter? LOL. This is a hard question
for me. I am over feeling guilt about things I choose to eat, or most
forms of pleasure. I say life is about enjoying oneself, and we should
ENJOY. I don't watch much TV, so I can't fess up to some reality TV show
or soap opera. It's not that I'm a TV snob...I just spend my time doing
other things, most of the time. OK, here is a big confession. I like to
smoke a bit of MJ now and then. Guilty. Pleasurable. It is not a daily
thing, or even a monthly thing, or something that I am addicted to. I
could live the rest of my life quite happily without this substance.
Still, once in a great while, I want to get that marvelously altered
state of consciousness that only that particular substance will induce.
There...a big guilty pleasure. Shh...don't tell. It is also an
absolutely fabulous aphrodisiac. SEX and MJ....two guilty pleasures
together...guilt on top of guilt...pleasure on top of pleasure. Add
music and munchies and I am a guilty, fabulously happy woman. I do not
advocate that people who live happily without this substance go out and
take it up. I don't advocate daily use, although do not judge those who
choose this. I just am confessing my particular guilty pleasure. I also
am an advocate for legalization of this substance. If you research it,
you will find that it is a very benign substance (especially when
compared to alcohol, the other LEGAL mind altering substance, or nicotine.)
9. If I were a God/Goddess who would I be?
Venus of course. Enough said.
10. Who/what makes you laugh until you are weak?
I am a fan of comedy of many types. I like dry humor, intelligent
humor and sophomoric humor. There is a young up and coming comedian who
has been featured on Comedy Central, named Bo Burnham, who I find fresh
and intelligent and just sexual enough to be intriguing. He is only 18
and is going to be a big star. I love the intelligence of Steve Martin
and have seen most of his comedy skits/movies over the years. Tim
Allen's books are funny and intelligent, two of my favorite
combinations. Woody Allen is another bright spot. I loved John Belushi
and The Blues Brothers movies combined comedy and blues music, two of my
favorites. On Twitter, @guestblogme, @BlokesLib, and @badwebsites are
three of my favorites who always can get a smile out of me. Oh, and
there is also the popular and much loved @FizzyDuck, queen of
one-liners. On radio, I like and respect Howard Stern, because he is
intelligent and he will say what most people would think but not say out
loud. But, I don't have Sirius, so I don't listen to him with any
regularity. Sometimes I will read his show notes on line or listen to
him on You-Tube.
11. What is your favorite spring thing to do?
I am a puddle stomper of great enthusiasm and renown. Where I live,
it only rains Oct-March. Most of the rain is too cold to
enthusiastically stomp around in. But, sometimes during the spring, we
get some warm rain storms, and then, watch out puddles! When I was a
kid, growing up in Ohio, during the hot, humid summers, we were too poor
to be able to afford to go to the local swimming pool. One of the best
treats in the world was when my Mom would allow us to go out and play in
the rain. If there was no lightening, she would take our shoes off and
bless our puddle stomping, rain dancing exuberance.
So, when spring comes to central coast California, if there is a warm
rain, you can expect to see me stomping, bare footed, grinning, in some
puddles. I hope to never lose this piece of childhood delight.
Also, one of my favorite things to do in the spring is garden. It is
another thing that connects me to my Mother, I think. I have memories of
working alongside her in the spring, planting, digging in the dirt,
watching things sprout and grow. Sometimes I think I feel her presence
when I am digging in the dirt. I am peaceful, connected. Hi Mom.
12. When you die, what would you like people to say about you at your
funeral?
The truth. Funerals are more for the people left on earth than the
departed. When I am gone, I want people to speak their truth about me,
whatever that is. I would like them to say what they need to say to
have closure, to comfort themselves, and to be true to themselves.
That's all.
13. What was the best thing you ate or drank recently?
My tastes in food are simple, actually. This morning I ate some
ripe strawberries from the local farmer's market with some Greek yogurt.
The strawberries were very sweet, and the yogurt was tart, and it was a
winning combination. I love fresh fruits of almost all kinds. Fresh
vegetables are always a favorite, too. My daughter and I love steamed
artichokes. It is a treat to shop with her, carefully select our
artichokes together, and then enjoy the aroma as they steam on the range
top. When we sit down to eat them together, I am not sure if it is the
artichoke or the sharing I enjoy most.
14. When did you last go for a night out? Friday night June 19th, to
Karaoke with my girlfriends. I have a standing weekly date with a few close friends, and I will NOT give this up. We have fun. Enough said.
15. What is your favorite film ever?
This puddle stomping rain lover loves, and has always loved,
"Singing In The Rain." Other favorites include "Casa Blanca" and "The
Wizard of Oz."
16. Share some wisdom.
I tweeted this recently. I was having a DM conversation with a
friend from Twitter who is caught in a painful love triangle. I have
experienced that myself. We were talking about how sometimes smart
people fall in love with someone even though they know the situation
can't yield what they really want and deserve from a relationship. What
I tweeted was this, "The heart doesn't care about what we deserve from
love. The heart just knows love when love presents itself." What I know
about love is that it sneaks up on people when they aren't expecting it,
and sometimes we love the right person at the wrong time, but the bare
bones of loving is that when we love, we aren't logical or rational.
Love is love and doesn't yield to rational argument all that well. So, I
say, learn to embrace the love and let go of the expectation of getting
your agenda met. Simple, but not easy.
17. What song can't you get out of your head?
James Taylor's "Steamroller Blues." There is a story attached to
this song, but not a story I can share here. Another guilty pleasure,
but also a song I don't want to let get out of my head.
18. What are you looking forward to?
Being in love again.
19. If you could change one detail from your past, what would that be?
I love who I am, where I am, and if I went around messing with the
past, I would be changing the present. I can't imagine changing
anything. I have no regrets. I don't live that way.
20. What is your life philosophy?
BE HERE NOW. It is about not dwelling on the past, or fretting about
the future. I want to be in the present moment as much as possible. I
want to be present to enjoy the present. Hence the answer to the
previous question, which is about the past. I enjoy revisiting the past
from time to time, but I don't want to live there or beat myself up over
decisions gone bad. Hind sight is always 20/20...and I know that I am
capable of learning from each choice I make and the subsequent outcome.
When people spend all their time jumping back and forth between the past
and the future, they risk missing out on the present moment with all of
it's wondrous potential for joy, peace, wisdom, humor, and yes, even
grief and sadness and pain. I want to LIVE my life, not remember it or
be so busy plotting it out that I forget to be here. The now moments ARE
what life is all about.
Find @teambudd1 on Twitter.
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