"Hey there fella. How're you doing?"
"Not too bad. Yourself?"
"Can't complain. Well, I suppose I could. Wouldn't do me any good, though."
It's a familiar line of conversation, surely repeated millions of times, every day, all over the world. Perhaps even billions. Whether in the old-fashioned way of waggling your mouth up and down to make noises or in "social" media situations online, people pair off and exchange pleasantries which, quite frankly, don't get anybody anywhere. Our first John Doe above tries to invite his buddy into a conversation, and he feels compelled to answer. Obviously, it's not all that enthusiastic about the idea, but it's expected of him, isn't it? Isn't a simple etiquette answer enough? He bounces the initiative straight back to John, who gets what he wants, an earpiece to listen to his latest grumble, although it's very doubtful his buddy is even listening at this point. They may as well both walk off in their separate directions, right then and there.
This interaction, quite simply, doesn't add any value, at least, nothing more besides affirming to each other that they're still alive, and, yes, it's pretty much business as usual. It's a null conversation.
One of the most remarkable things about humans is our ability to communicate effectively through words. That, more than anything else, has got us to where we are; ignited our ingenuity, created all the wondrous technology around us, much of which, let's face it, is intended to further our ability to communicate ever more still. The technologies that we hunger for - 'phones, e-mail, social networking - are all out there simply because as a species we have a need to interact and use that wondrous gift of communication. Pathetically, much of that gift is entirely wasted. We're conditioned to ask empty soulless questions about each other's well-being, respond to them noncommitally, attempt to find a way to weasel out of the conversation however possible, or, if it still appears to continue, blather on about nothing whatsoever.
Your fellow humans deserve better than that.
Go look up "conversation" in a dictionary - pretty much any one will do. One of the keywords in the definition is that it's an exchange. I give you some ideas, thoughts, and sentiments, and you give me some back. It's a valuable process, but only if the things we exchange themselves have value. If your words make me smile, or feel good about myself, or help me achieve my goals, conversations can be priceless. Sadly, however, the greatest trading volume in conversation is in the cheapest comments of all - broadcast to the thousands. Something inconsequential to thousands of followers on Twitter can't be worth as much as more heartfelt and personal remarks to someone special, can it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying social networking or mass conversation is a bad thing; indeed, I've got the strangest feeling that what we've seen so far is just the beginning of something very powerful, with the ability to leave us more connected than ever before. Let's not however forget the value of those deeper connections. Think back to the last time someone told you that you looked nice today, or how that color of your new outfit suited you, or simply that you were appreciated. Think how it made you feel; think what value you'd add if you went out and did the same, right now.
It's not that difficult.
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